* Disclaimer : All opinions expressed in this article are the writers own. The opinions reflected are not to be used in place of professional medical advice. *
Mental health, depression, suicide, passive suicide and other mental health issues are extremely important and are all meant to be taken seriously, not as a joke. According to the World Health Organization (WHO), “Approximately 280 million people in the world have depression.” About 1.6 million adults have at least attempted suicide once. “While from 2022 over 49,000 people have died from suicide,” according to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention. There are so many Mental Health issues even more today than ever before and just one word or look can change someone’s whole mindset and how they feel about themselves. It can affect someone’s whole life and even a whole community.
There are so many things that can be the catalyst to mental health issues. It could just be what someone builds up in their head, or what family members say, what friends say, what strangers say, or stuff that even happens in a relationship as well. There are endless amounts of causes or even when there are issues in the family as of when your other siblings take up so much of the attention that you feel invisible. It can also be because you feel no one cares about you or just by undermining other people’s issues which is wrong. It is very important to watch your words and to treat people respectfully and remember how you would feel.
Depression and mental health is a big issue in my life and it really got to a huge point in my life in middle school all the way to the duration of highschool. I struggled with what I thought people thought about me, what people actually thought about me, the way people treated me, what people said about me, and people blaming their issues on me. It started in middle school because of how people would comment on everything about me and why I did not look like my sister, why I smiled so much, things about how my body looked, and no matter what I did there was always an issue. It caused me to go into a deep spiral to overthink a lot and even when people stopped saying these things then I would say these things to myself.
In middle school I even felt like I was disgusting and that no one could ever see me in a good type of way and it really ruined my self esteem where that is all I felt. Sometimes when people try to say “that’s not true” then it is still hard to believe them because you know some people will always comment badly. It was that I always felt less than as well as bigger than everyone else but if someone else were to think of themselves like this I would do anything to make sure that they know the truth. Even when I first started high school at my first high school I felt the same and alone because I only had 1 friend and people I would talk to everyday couldn’t even remember my name. When my friend wasn’t there I felt like I had no one.I ended up transferring to Santaluces which is where I felt a little less invisible because a lot of my friends from other schools were here. It felt good to change from feeling invisible and disgusting to feeling seen. Just because I left did not feel I was fixed because even if you are quiet with your issues some others are loud which is no issue.
The summer before Sophomore year I started to dye my hair. Then when I was a Sophomore I kind of fell into a place where I kind of listened to my brain when I was overthinking for a while and I did have amazing people in my life but it was still hard to feel different about myself. I even made a drastic like cutting my hair myself which was a bad idea but I did have amazing friends. During that year I started feeling good and better about myself and less disgusting because someone had made me feel less disgusting and it made the other half of my year amazing and it is crazy how 1 person can change your mindset.
Then I was a Junior and I felt amazing because I had all these amazing people in my life and I was really happy. I even joined a community that I really loved but in November thing started to turn but I should’ve known. We all know what people think about Junior year. It was the person I trusted did something even though I told them I would forget about it but I guess I never did but I knew everyone still cared about me because how much they showed their love for me. I did keep trying with this person but it seemed like they could care less and I finally got tired and cut ties in March and that’s when it seemed they kept messing with me and people started talking bad on me. In January I was going through family issues that never even stopped so this was just too much.Then the community that once made me happy came to end just like some things do as well as a few friendships. I started having many issues with my looks because of the many ways I felt about myself and how people made me feel and I didn’t know what to do. This took a huge toll on me.
That summer I got to connect with my real good friends and connect with them more. Then Senior year was finally here and it was only a few days and something went down that had lasted a month which put me in a really bad place but this was the year I wanted to be in a very good place mentally. So after what went down I tried my best to focus on myself and it really did help and I felt even more refreshed that you can even see. It was so hard and it is not easy but I started to feel prettier, doing more things like other clubs, and just feeling better about myself and I finally fully cut ties with the people who were depriving me of that. I even hung out with my friends more and more but it does not mean my days are perfect. Even when I tried to let someone bad back in my life it dimmed my life so i knew what I had to do but I also sometimes felt horrible about myself because people alway have those days and even when I went through things with my family I still was very uplifted.
Even though we have good days that doesn’t mean we don’t have bad ones and sometimes second chances are not always good and your opinion on you is the only opinion that matters and this is important to know. Sometimes you can affect someone and that is why there is a huge importance of pure intention. I also am so grateful for all the real and amazing people who have helped me grow through my life. I am happy to say I have grown from just the sad little girl to someone who is still growing to a better version.