I’m very picky when it comes to my food; there’s a certain way it should taste and be made. Eggnog and cheesecake… are just two things I won’t ever be able to wrap my head around. Everytime I see the two paired together I just think to myself: Who would make something so weird?

Let’s start off with eggnog. When I think about eggs breakfast comes to mind, just like when I think about pancakes, sausage, and bacon (I hate bacon by the way, don’t even get me started). So, in what world was making it a drink okay? And why would it be paired with milk especially, something so sensitive and quick to spoil? Leaving milk at a warm temperature is already bad enough, imagine leaving this so-called-eggnog concoction out… the texture is so disgusting. Then you have its thick consistency… just thinking about it makes me want to throw up. Something that’s meant to be a meal or a side on a breakfast plate should never become a drink with cookies. And if you’re thinking “Well what about smoothies?,” that’s not what I mean; I mean don’t make things like eggs, sausage, or bacon into drink; that is just horrid and honestly very odd. Drinks should be smooth and liquidy, not thick to where it can be a block of cheese if you were to blend it. 

Now cheesecake… I don’t even know where to start because of how upsetting the idea makes me. Cheese is supposed to be savory, right? For example: macaroni and cheese, a ham and cheese sandwich, cheese and crackers; they’re all salty/savory snacks with cheese as one of the ingredients. So, why would it ever be okay to mix that with something sweet like cake? And don’t get me wrong, I love a good cake; vanilla, chocolate, and strawberry are my top three flavors. But cheesecake, I will never ever like; my brain and mouth can’t grasp the fact that these two things were put together, and people actually enjoy it! Then to top it off, there is a whole restaurant that glorifies it… The Cheesecake Factory! I’ve only been there twice in my entire life and I was disappointed and disgusted each time.

I enjoy trying new things, and I agree that it makes no sense to hate on something I’ve never even tried, so I went to The Cheesecake Factory with high hopes because of all the good things I’ve heard about this dessert and the restaurant. Well, everyone who said those things are wrong. The second I had a taste of the cake I gagged; all I tasted was cheese trying to be sweet. Something trying to be something it’s not and just forcing itself  to be a dessert when it’s not meant to be one is ridiculous. And in my opinion, that is why the cheesecake filling is able to separate from graham cracker bottom so easily, they are not meant to be. No matter how sweet you try to make it you will always taste that thick mixture of milk, AKA cheese.

So to conclude, cheesecake and eggnog are revoltingly disgusting, and if they are brought to me any second during the beautiful holidays, I will react irrationally with no regrets. So I do advise anyone who knows me that is reading this to not bring those items anywhere near me. I also advise those who are curious and want to try it to not unless you really want to, but these two things not being a part of your life is perfectly fine because they had no business being created in the first place. And again, they are so disgusting.