I personally, have never experienced a TRUE love, but I was ‘close’. If you were to ask someone my age if they’ve ever experienced true love, they’d probably say the same thing. That they were close to it. People around my age think it’s okay to play with people’s feelings and that love is a game. When really, love is something special because it involves vulnerability with someone you trust and feel comfortable enough to show parts of yourself you don’t show anyone else.
Most adults these days say, “It’s just puppy love, it won’t last,” but true love doesn’t have an age. To me, falling in love at a young age is something special. Love isn’t something you can schedule or force, and it certainly doesn’t come with an age limit. It shows up in action. It’s patience, loyalty, and being sure to always choose your lover even when it’s not easy. Love is not about how intense something feels, but how understood you feel. It’s being seen without having to explain yourself all of the time.
The experience I had when I was ‘close’ to love was, honestly, one of the best feelings I have ever experienced. It was a feeling that I used to think no one could top. I thought that no one could ever make me feel that way again. But, if I was even capable of feeling that way, I know that someday in my life I will come across someone that will give me that feeling again, but in the right way.
Love and lust are not the same. Some people constantly experience lust in their relationship and think it’s love, but they’re two very different things. Lust is about physical attraction and wanting someone in the moment. It’s fast, intense, and focused on how someone makes you feel in the moment, which is what I had experienced and what I thought was love, but it’s far from it. I was drawn to the attention and the idea of the person, not the reality of who they actually were. What I felt faded quickly, and real love wouldn’t have just disappeared that quickly. Love is slower and deeper. It’s about caring for someone beyond attraction or physical aspects. Wanting to understand them, respect them, and stay even when the excitement fades.
The person that I thought was my true love was just an emotionally damaged person who had his own personal problems to solve. It’s important to have self-love before you try to love someone else. Self-love is the most important love because, if you can’t even take care of yourself, how are you going to take care of someone that wants to be cared for?
There is also such a thing as platonic love, which is a deep, non-romantic connection between people. It’s based on trust, care, and understanding rather than attraction. It’s the kind of love found in close friendships where you value someone for who they are, not what you want from them. I already found my platonic soulmate, my best friend. I first met her in 6th grade. We were on the same soccer team and later found out we happened to go to the same school. We didn’t know we went to the same one because that was the year everyone was in quarantine. I was online that whole year while she went to school in person. In 7th grade, when everyone returned to school, we had a class together and, throughout the years, we became closer and closer. It wasn’t until freshman year that we really became best friends, which is honestly when I needed her the most. We understand each other like no one else could. We had similar childhoods which made us really connect and understand each other on a deeper level. I’m not saying that people have to be similar to be soulmates, because they do say that opposites attract, that’s just how it was for us. Everyone has different plans in life and different futures, but the best thing to know is to not force anything. It will come to you when the time is right. Just like my best friend did.
