Thursday is Halloween, but there are scarier things than ghosts and ghouls: getting bad candy. After your night of terror and treat collecting, here’s a list of candies that you won’t be able to trade with your fellow trick or treaters and will be stuck at the bottom of your bag instead of your stomach.
10. Smarties- They used to be cool in middle school, now they’re just bottom dwellers. Worst part is, people get two or three handfuls of these horrible treats. Want to be smart? Do not get Smarties.
9. Jolly Ranchers- Most of the time, hard candy is one of the best things to get on Halloween. But due to the fact that we are very anxious and have sticky fingers, opening a skin tight wrapper on a heavily flavored Jolly Rancher isn’t on my list of things to eat.
8. Dum Dum Lollipops- Just stop.Younger kids appreciate these when they go to the bank, but now, they’re just teases of flavors. By the time we actually get to the center, the lollipop is gone.
7. Bubble Gum- What person doesn’t love gum? We all enjoy it, but we’d actually like time TO enjoy it. People don’t want gum that lasts all of five seconds; you can’t even prepare a bubble in that amount of time. What was a huge burst of flavor is now a piece of stringy rubber. Not cool, treat givers, not cool.
6. Jelly Beans- Even though we love colorful treats in our goodie bags, jelly beans don’t really taste as good as they used to. Most of the flavors just tend to blend together and half of them are horrible flavors.
5. Butterscotch- Just because grandma would enjoy these treats doesn’t mean that we will. I personally don’t like butterscotch because the after taste is absolutely horrible.
4. Tootsie Rolls- This includes all of them, the flavored ones and the regular ones. We all love chocolate, but we love chocolate that tastes like chocolate and not ones that imitate it. Tootsie Rolls taste like plastic, and the texture doesn’t appeal to me either. When I think of chocolate, “chewy” isn’t the first thing that comes to mind.
3. Black licorice- I don’t know who decided to make this a candy, but it tastes more like a medicine than a delight. The best way to describe this taste is to think of your first experience tasting a lemon, and times that by ten.
2. Sketchy Candy- This falls under the category of that orange-wrapped candy that looks like it’s been halfway opened, or the single sale candy that is wrapped in plastic but looks like it could easily be filled with poked holes. If you buy candy that you wouldn’t eat, chances are we won’t either.
1. Twizzlers- I absolutely do not see the point in this being classified as a candy; it’s more a like a workout for your taste buds. They say it tastes like strawberries but the real flavor should say Pepto bismol. When kids see these in their bags they instantly feel sad and you should be too. When you’re in the store and you see Twizzlers, please, keep walking.