Do you ever wonder why people shout during arguments? So do I. Shouting is not a topic that surprises many people because almost everybody across the globe has shouted once in their lifetime. It’s not like we don’t know why they’re shouting. They are either mad, happy, stern ,or excited. Although it’s something almost everyone does, I want to figure out more about why people feel the need to shout during an argument. Questions arise like, “Do they feel more empowered?” and “Are they lacking attention?”
It’s clear that raising your voice at someone isn’t going to persuade the person you’re debating with. So then why do we do it? Well, the answer is as bright as day: it is because of the lack of confidence and the need for dominance.
According to the article “Why Do We Shout When We Argue?” by Wall Street Journal, it states, “The researchers found that people chose the assertiveness of their messages based solely on how important they thought the issue was and ignored the other person’s receptiveness. When they felt the stakes were high, they chose the “shoutier” message regardless of the other person’s openness to advice.”
When shouting at someone you automatically lose that person’s interest, care, and respect to listen to you. Some people are just simply aggressive individuals. There hasn’t been one instance where shouting hasn’t caused a physical altercation between two people and it is important to just remain calm in situations like these even though it may be difficult. Feeding into their negative energy is just going to drag you into a big enough hole that you won’t be able to climb out of.
It is hard sometimes to just sit there and take crap being talked to you time after time again. Nobody wants to seem like they can’t handle themselves and that is when our ego gets the best of us. We do things we regret later on and some of us might not and that’s okay. It’s like a defense mechanism we want to react quickly because it asserts weakness in our eyes. For example, when it comes to fights, they tend to happen due to a variety of reasons such as rumors and slick talk but the thing that actually allows you to go out and fight is your ego. You can’t just walk away from the situation because of that little voice in your mind telling you to do something even though it is deemed wrong.
Continuing on, shouting can also be a learned behavior. Some people have become shouters because of the parental environment they have grown up in. According to the article “How Does Parenting Affect Children’s Behavior” by Lovel Howard in summary it says, there are four types of parenting styles which includes authoritarian (using strict rules and punishments for disobedience), authoritative (setting clear boundaries but allowing negotiations within those boundaries), permissive (few limits or discipline for misbehavior), and uninvolved (little guidance and barely present).
Children who are raised in different households tend to express different types of behaviors in a variety of situations. This ties in with the current topic of “Why do people shout during arguments?” Children are easily influenced by their surrounding environments which mess with the development of a child causing trauma or bad behaviors. Their kids learn to cope with conflict by raising their voices because they haven’t learned proper coping methods to avoid this. This is why many individuals are recommended therapists to help you explore and understand what is causing you stress.
Arguers who shout tend to feel like they have lost control of the situation they’re in. If you feel like you have lost control in an argument then you weren’t debating to get your point across, you were trying to show who has the most power. Teenagers tend to do this a lot especially when their friends are around because they don’t want to seem weak. Which in the end ultimately leads to embarrassment.
According to the article”How To React When Someone Is Shouting At You In Anger” by Sanford Didonna, it states that, “A person may be a yeller because they feel a loss of control over the situation. They may be overwhelmed by the thoughts, feelings, and emotions and are experiencing a loss of control over all of these things at once. It is a big jumble of confusion to them, so they yell to try to get control over what they are experiencing. They lack proper coping skills to regain feeling of control over the situation and their surroundings, so they resort to yelling to feel that they are in control. They may get that feeling of control, but it is most often temporary because most problems are not solved through yelling. A person may appear to compliment the yeller, simply to calm that person down, but in reality nothing has been solved in the long term.”
I completely agree with this statement; however, the only thing I disagree with is the part that says “It is a jumble of confusion to them.” If I’m arguing and shouting at another person, there is no confusion happening in my mind because I know what I’m arguing about. Now some people do get too frustrated during arguments which can cause them to have a little mental breakdown, which is not funny at all, because they can’t seem to get their point across. It can become frustrating but if you’re shouting at someone for no reason then you shouldn’t be the one complaining.
Arguing doesn’t have to be seen as a negative thing because some people aren’t actually trying to start an issue, you can have a friendly little shouting debate but people take it too personally. I feel like if you’re shouting while arguing you’re not listening to what the other person is saying because you are saying “What I have to say is more important than what you have to say” and that’s not right at all. I believe shouting at a person is not the way to go and is certainly not going to work in the real world.
