Getting You Ready for the Big Game

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The Super Bowl is right around the corner, but it probably won’t be the most exciting game we’ve ever seen.

What’s there to be excited about? Peyton Manning will try to throw touchdown “ducks” on the best cornerback in the game who won’t be covering a “sorry” receiver, while the rest of the best secondary in football will face the best pass game in football in a season historically dominated by the pass. Although, both teams have two of the top running backs this season as well. All of this will happen in about 12 degree weather after an unusually accurate ape in Utah picked the Seahawks to win despite EA Sports’ statistically accurate Madden simulation predicted the Broncos to win. Nothing at all, right?

Well, let’s start from the beginning. Richard Sherman of the Seattle Seahawks, who has been particularly brash in his comments recently, went on record saying that the NFL’s best quarterback throws “ducks.” Richard Sherman is without a doubt the best cornerback in the league, and there’s no doubt that he’s right about his statements. Manning has not thrown the tightest throws of his career this year. As a matter of fact, most of his passes, which went untouched, wobble so much you’d think they were deflected at the line.

The problem with telling the best quarterback in the NFL that he throws ducks is, well, telling the best quarterback that he throws ducks. Manning responded to Sherman’s ill-advised comments by agreeing that he throws “ducks”- touchdown ducks. Fifty-five touchdown ducks to be exact.

The comments will likely light a fire in the receivers who have been catching “ducks” all season long. It may even be enough to beat the best pass defense in the league.

The Seahawks have thrived on attacking the quarterback and creating pressure in the pocket. That helps take a load off the backs of the “Legion of Boom.” The Broncos, however, have given Peyton Manning the best protection the 37-year-old quarterback has ever seen.

Meanwhile, the Seattle Seahawks have posted the best red zone defense in the NFL allowing just 3.7 points per red zone trip. Going against the NFL’s best 5.4 points per red zone trip coming from Denver.

As you can you see, these teams are pretty evenly matched. The best offense against the best defense. The best quarterback against the best cornerback. Two of the best running backs clash.

But a Super Bowl wouldn’t be a Super Bowl without Eli, the better-than-most-sports-analysts-at-predicting-outcomes ape. He goes head to head with the computing genius of EA Sports. That’s essentially what the Super Bowl will come down to- a head-to-head between an ape and a computer. Welcome to the world of sports.